Mynameiswot’s Weblog

Hello nobody!

Still drinking, still trying to stop, but still coming down with colds, aches and every ther dam bug that appears to be doing the rounds these last few months. To say I am pi**ed off is an understatement, more so as my weight is going up and my determination is going down….

HELP!!

Wowsers! I’m sitting here and a real wave of doom, gloom, depression and no hope has descended upon me for no reason at all! There is an edge to me that is creeping and growing inside me, and by writing here I am doing everything I can to get it out and away and to be forgotten quickly.

I feel no craving for alcohol, so I am ruling that out… Maybe it’s just a phase… something at the back of my mind is churning away and causing me to try and focus on something that is no worth focussing upon at all?

Dam but my head hurts….

Still off the drink, still struggling each day, but as each day goes by the cravings don’t seem quite as bad. Mood swings are bloody terrible though… The silliest of things throw me into a rage, yet as soon as they start I know the rage is silly, yet cannot do a dam thing to stop it, so have to let it ride and await the stupidity of the situation to come home, and let me get back to normality again.

Two days without any booze and already the difference is unreal.

Feeling tired all the time as my sleep pattern changes for the better, heck, you only understand how badly your are affected with the drinking when you stop it! Ah… well tomorrow will be another day!

What a weird day it has been today… Sitting here having a beer after working hard all day, and being let down by someone yet again who promises the earth and delivers nothing but broken promises.

What a day…. If things could go wrong they did….. but then it was to be expected….

Been a rough couple of days, mentally screwed up, can’t pull out of it, and just know the “Big Bang” is due to hit home.

All the daft things around me that could go wrong are going wrong, but I’m resigned to this happening so it’s not fazing me out too much. Not much point getting even worse when you cannot change anything anyway! So if you look back over the months of writing on here, you can see how the crap has continued, but the same mentality of trying is still there. You just need to believe and keep trying… I know I am!!!

Another day…

And no matter what you do it certainly will not wait for anyone, especially you!!!

So, how have things been going recently? Pretty crap and pretty standard, but pretty normal really for me and the way my life always goes!

Back in training, still drinking, but still aiming to get off it and increase my energy levels and get a 10K run done before a half marathon near the end of the year!

Talk about high hopes!! But it’s a target and that is what it’s all about!

Monday is the new day to start laying off the drink once again….

Sad, but, it’s a case of still keeping on trying!