Mynameiswot’s Weblog

So how have things been going since the initial posting?

Well, not much has changed other than the drinking continues, the mind is still trying to find a way out, though I did have a two day break in which I felt great, though felt empty at the same time, so came back to the dark side and suffered the illusion of happiness once more.

The cold thing has been all over the place and I have been out of Gym action for a few weeks though did go outside for a 6K run that has left my legs in agony, but it’s also leaving me in a state of being more focussed and wanting to go outside more and not use the Gym at all now!

My handy little Garmin Forerunner 305 is great for showing how far I have run and how my old heart is struggling along, so it makes it all worthwhile once I come back here plug in and finally relax!

So, I’m still working on MY change, how are you all doing?

It’s Saturday and another night of typing begins while supping on a glass of Vino!

Friday there saw me going back to the gym, not in the mood, and still with sore legs after Monday’s escapade, and pushing myself to run. Heck, under 7K ran and my leg muscles felt as though someone had decided to hit them hard with a hammer, so had to give up! Certainly put a damper on me this week has I can tell you!

Mind you, amongst all of that personal events have seen me highly stressed out, and to be honest the drink has been the only thing keeping me going in the evenings, though it’s pathetic excuse but at this moment it’s justified in my mind.

Tomorrow I’ll see if the legs can take a real-world 5K or 10K run…. Can’t let LEGS DEFEAT ME!

Well on Monday there I decided to go back to the Gym after the festive period, and by heck, what a struggle that was.

I only managed to push 9.6K in an hour and had to do 5 slow walks to get my breath back; an utter disgrace!

Only had one day of non drinking, so still failing on my initial target of stopping drinking completely, but, so much crap happening and just feeling down, that it’s my only retreat at the moment.

Legs are now killing me today so won’t go back to the Gym until Thursday as I do not want to injure myself any more than I may have at the moment. Not an excuse, the truth!

Still positive about things though, still got the targets and WILL KEEP AT IT!

Just in case anyone is reading this, this is to let you know that so far due to weather conditions, the way I’m feeling and being sore all over I have moved into a state of depression in which I am finding it hard to motive myself to do anything at all. But, even though I am in this state, I am repeating that “mantra” of I have to get outside and push myself, I have to kick the booze, I have to be more positive, I have to get things in gear and get moving!

Now at face value it’s all talk, but let’s see how things progress during the final “Holiday Days” and then see how things go from next Monday when normal work resumes.

So if you have made plans for change, just remember that you’re not alone if you have not quite kicked into action yet! If you have stuck with it, then congratulations! Maybe you need to motive others if you’re feeling strong?